Half​-​Off​-​Pigs​-​In​-​A​-​Blanket​-​Every​-​Thursday

by Mapleview Lounge

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Nicole Carlson
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Nicole Carlson Cool album, Mapleview Lounge. Why don't I add it to my collection? We need to inspire more kids like you to make music. It's what makes bandcamp gr Favorite track: Gonads.
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  • Two floppy disks that contain the Mapleview Lounge award winning double EP Half-Off-Pigs-In-A-Blanket-Every-Thursday. Be a part of history with this unique item! Not only are these super-cool and hip, the floppies are upcycled with sustainability in mind. Each order comes with two floppies enclosed in custom super special floppy disk jewel cases, featuring exclusive album art by Mapleview Lounge's artistic mentor, Jacob Whalen! *POTTED PLANT NOT INCLUDED*
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about

Front-man and classically trained apathetic, Mr. Sharp frantically wrote the bulk of these songs in the time leading up to his 18th birthday. The EP captures many emotions of how he and the band members feel about love, growing up, and being painfully aware of who they are. Using humor and pop-inspired melodies, Mapleview Lounge disregards all that is glum and sees the world through an apprehensive lens before removing the lens because it has too much glare on it. Are these true emotions or are they emulations?

Originally titled "1/2 Off Pigs In A Blanket Every Day From 4 - 6 At The Mapleview Lounge," the title was shortened to accommodate the fast paced world we live in. The name Mapleview Lounge was inspired by the Mapleview Lounge & Bottle Shop located in Mapleview, Minnesota. Unfortunately, the name of the double EP is not related to any specials they have there.

credits

released December 8, 2014

Mr. Sharp - Writing, Vocals, Guitar, Angst
Mr. Bjorndal - Production, Mixing, Bass, Guitar, Swag
W. A. Bjorndal - Drums, Vocals, Scruff

Taylor Sharp as "Mr. Sharp"
Peter Bjorndal as "Mr. Bjorndal"
William Bjorndal as "W. A. Bjorndal"

Recorded in the rodent infested basement of a former meth lab in Austin, MN between June and August, 2014.
Bonus tracks recorded under the supervision of Garrison Meyer.
Barely Mastered™ by Peter Bjorndal in the Bjorndal living quarters.
Album art created by Jacob Whalen. Check out more of his work here: www.behance.net/jacobwhalen
Floppy Disk created by Friendly Puppy Music (FPM0001).

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about

Mapleview Lounge Minneapolis, Minnesota

Mapleview Lounge is composed of three technically skilled musicians who enjoy music, not having egos, and being hard working.

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Track Name: Big Shoes to Fill
so she left the pilot for the firefighter
she wanted a slapper to replace the biter
but i've read a book or two
wrote a list of ways to woo
and step one is such a doozy
never call a girl a floozy
but make a heart shape with your hands
she'll take you to the promised land
i don't have a job that's one word long
but i've got a business card and a blog
and for that cleft chin i would kill
that clown's got big shoes to fill
Track Name: Fuck It, I Love You
oh i never thought i'd stoop this low
but i know things that you don't know
i can't love without a hiss
and get tragic when i can't find bliss
bad nights are just routine
because i'm sick of what they mean
every word is like a shark bite
all sunny days end in a dark night
you suck even when you don't mean to
you've ruined my day and i haven't even seen you
you're making me write bad poetry
hey, at least i can go to the morgue for free
i shut my door, mutter you're a whore
repeat to wall i can't take this anymore
i want to shoot my mind, it makes my heart blind
you put me on cloud 9 when you don't mean to
but i'll never just say fuck it, i'm in love with you
Track Name: Funnel of Love
it was may 14th when i saw the twister
you were rubbing my leg which had a blister
the wind was howling, and so was my heart
i was afraid to lose you to a weather tart
you held my hand and said these words quiet:
"this is a funnel of love, and i think it's a riot"
the wind picked up, i saw my dog fly
there was no dramatic music, just a green sky
you took out a locket, and called it mine
it bottled up wind, wrapped around twine
you said goodbye, cause your home was the sky
because you and your trailer were starting to fly
you held my hand and said these words quiet
this is a funnel of love and I think it's a riot
Track Name: Gonads
hey baby, park your jeep
hey baby, no more peep
hey baby, ur so rad rad
hey baby, ride my gonads
gonna party in my house
gonna party with a mouse
gotta swingin bachelor pad
hey baby, ride my gonads
i'm turning on some r n b
ur gonna make sweet love to me
ur fanny pack is driving me mad
hey baby, ride my gonads
i've got a beeyotchin' serial modem
and a slammin' dope of AIM
i'm gonna say "who's your dad?"
hey baby, ride my gonads
hey baby, don't go ice my grill
i'll turn on some license to ill
and if you call my bleached tips a fad
i'll still let you ride my gonads
hey baby, you're off the heasy
what the fuck is team breezy?
why don't you like the dave matthews band?
talk to the hand, and ride my gonads
Track Name: That'll Do Charlene
you were my soulmate
disneyworld 1998
swallowed my emotions
i can feel inside
i don't know this love
i can't feel enough
accidentally spoke to you
all through the night
awkward sensation
too old for education
that'll do charlene
that'll do charlene
that'll do charlene
we made a promise
we'd never do this
i didn't go to college
just to avoid this
can't handle your tears
embodying my fears
i've never liked my fears
more than i do tonight
begrudging acceptance
alright now just this one dance
that'll do charlene
that'll do charlene
that'll do charlene
let's do some more charlene
let's do some more charlene
let's do some more charlene
Track Name: August 16th
grass grows through the rusted railing over the landscape
it's been hours since the last church bell chime
and i know it's you from your cardigan shape
and the city truly feels alive this time
i can't be genuine, so springsteen says the words
you say is this what they call make-out point
and past advice tells me that's a way to flirt
i don't know about you, but i don't want to disappoint
and it's 80's power ballads hour on 93.7
this feels like a dream i had at the start of summer
your face looks like it reached the first cloud of heaven
and to think we thought august was going to be a bummer
i only remember the best words that were said
which were said through your misty smile
and next week i'll probably wish i were dead
but at least i know august 16th will return in a while
Track Name: Songs for Tara
god tells me that teenage love is the most real
because it's the time you truly love feeling what you feel
and until now, i had a shadow of a doubt
but thank goodness you have a schoolyard crush
and i guess i'm gonna fuck your brains out
'cause c'mon, college is gonna be such a rush
it's lush, with summer fragrance and flowers bloom
with me inventing bittersweet moments in my room
but there's not going to be a hint of romance
unless i'm high from that point on, not a chance
it'll be hilarious, it'll be wacky
i'm not gonna outgrow tacky
anytime soon
but you've given me another reason to look forward to june
so let's ignore the implications
ignore the concept of patience
i'll live outside my body
so i can visit the inside of yours
make my decisions shoddy
to see a girl let down her drawers
let go of any meaning behind waiting for someone else
and fuck me as much as i think i fuck myself
Track Name: Medal
if she ripped my heart out
i'd give her a medal
if she icepicked me
i could never save myself
i don't wanna save myself
i don't wanna be helped
i just want to watch her leave me die
tonight
tonight
i'd give her gold
i'd give her gold
Track Name: Sing Joyously (Bonus Track)
you're looking sweet today my dear
i'm so happy you are near
my dreams are now something i see
hold my hand and sing joyously
Track Name: The Chain Rule (Bonus Track)
ye ireland is calling
my tears are becoming pool
my bonnie lass is calling
to sing about the chain rule
first, identify f and g
it'll make my true love come back to me
f's on the outside, g on the in
they'll stick together through thick and thin
derivative of f, then of g
it'll make my true love come back to me
once you're there, you cannot turn back
use this formula to return to your jack
f prime of g of x
go together like people having sex
multiply that by g prime
you'll come back in due time
so there you go on the irish shore
and i will love you evermore
our love stamped in the sands of time
the derivative is the slope of the tangent line